not a walk in the park

I love the name Tiger now.

A beautiful spring morning in Brooklyn, walking Fletcher in the park…. and the tulips at Will’s tree are in bloom…. and I wanted you with me. I guess I longed for these morning walks with you, like I had with Lucy and Fletch minus Will’s tree years ago now. I thought we would go and visit Will- and life and death would combine just to be Love. Without you this morning I danced the life part…. found myself jealous of the flowers for being nourished by your ashes…. and once again tried to gather it all as love and bring it home, help it motivate the process of finding the child who will join our family.

You both are so present in our lives, only not in the way I had dreamed. So very different  sweet boys.

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